A moment of uncertainty
by dreamland4
Summary: Arthur watches Guinevere with Lancelot. It is a short story.   I do not own Merlin.


_**Comments: A brief story about Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere. Thank you so much to Guardian Izz.**_

Arthur was not foolish he knew he was there, waiting in the shadows for him to make an error or leave their world.

He watched from his window as Lancelot carried Guinevere's basket towards the castle, she smiled at the recently appointed knight and he gripped the window a little bit tighter, sighing. The truth was Lancelot was probably the better match for her. Sure, Arthur still had enough confidence to remain convinced that he himself was the strongest knight out of the two of them! However, while Lancelot's only oath was to himself and his only tie – his sense of honour, Arthur was bound by obligations and dependency of others since birth. Lancelot could give her a peaceful life, maybe not as lavish as say … the Crown Prince of Camelot could bestow upon her, but he knew Guinevere was not one, who measured happiness through the amount of material things.

_He_ could give her a life that did not have the constraints of the one he so desperately wanted to offer her; he knew by becoming queen her life would no longer be as free as it once had been. Not to mention the permanent danger that seemed to be thrown so easily in their paths.

But, he was a selfish man and as such he wanted her with every fibre of his being, and was not about to just step aside and let them search for _their _"happily ever after".

He shook his head stubbornly, his eyebrows set in a determined, though somewhat childish frown; Guinevere was born to become queen, he needed her, Camelot needed her, and he knew enough of her character and Lancelot's to foresee that their simple exchanges were nothing to worry about.

Seemingly determined to be the bigger person, the prince's thoughts then drifted back to the time he rescued her, he had seen the look they gave each other and the tears that had fallen when Lancelot had left her. Arthur still did not understand why he had left, but he was glad that he had.

No, she had chosen him … Guinevere loved him, he repeated this again in his head as if trying to squash the unsettled feeling growing inside of him. "She loves me", he thought reassuringly.

"Who loves you?" He gave Merlin a look of disdain as the servant interrupted his mantra.

"What are you talking about Merlin?" trying to cover up the fact that he had spoken out loud.

"She loves me", Merlin imitated, grinning from ear to ear.

"Shut up Merlin!"

**o0o0o**

A few days later these thoughts reared up again in his head when Guinevere had joined him for a meal in his chambers. Since returning from Cendred's they had developed a routine of one evening a week dining in his chambers. They would talk for hours and eventually he would walk her home, her arm looped through his. It all lead up to his favourite part of the evening – a kiss.

"Arthur, are you listening?"

"No," Guinevere raised a quizzical eyebrow at his response, "… um, I mean yes".

She looked at him closely and reached across the table to place a hand on top of his. "Something is troubling you," it was not a question but a statement, she knew him too well.

"Nothing important" Arthur squeezed her hand and stood up, walking towards the fire and throwing another log on it.

Guinevere sighed and followed him "If something is bothering you Arthur it is important, _to me_" she placed a hand on his arm and Arthur turned to face her.

"I do not want to bring up the past" he looked away not wanting to see her questioning look. "Let us carry on … what were you saying?" he walked back toward the table and turned to smile at her "Ah yes! Something about Anne and nearly setting fire to the palace kitchens".

"Arthur Pendragon! That story was over an _hour_ ago, now if the past is affecting the present you need to talk to me" he turned to see that Guinevere had followed him again and knew he would not get away with not talking to her.

"Why did you pick me?" he said, looking away, and suddenly found the bowl of fruit on the table extremely fascinating.

Gwen found it difficult to hide the perplexed look on her face. 'Why did she pick him?' she had never heard such a foolish question in her life. For a start, when did he last look in the mirror? No woman could escape being dazzled by his glorious golden mane and crystal clear blue eyes, and the Arthur she knew was well aware of that fact. In fact, his question was one more suitable for her to ask: why did _The Prince of Camelot_ pick _her_? Just a servant among a thousand other, what she deemed, better-looking women all desiring his attentions. "Where is this coming from Arthur?"

Arthur sighed again and turned to face her. He had wanted her to just say 'because I love you' or maybe 'because you are the bravest most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on', yes that would suffice as a solid reassurance, but no, this was Guinevere, most likely the only women in the world who could see straight through him.

"I find myself wondering why you chose me and..." he waved his arms around with a look of slight disdain on his face, "this complicated life that is attached to me, rather than a simpler path with another man?"

"And this man, did you have anyone in mind?" Gwen stood tall waiting for his confession.

Arthur rubbed his hands over his face, clearly regretting that he had even started this line of conversation "Is there a particular man I should be concerned about?"

Gwen sighed, taking one step closer as she placed a hand over his heart. "I chose you, because I love you Arthur," she watched as he relaxed a little, but the worry was still etched on his facial features. She needed to make it clear, she knew his anxiety was concerning Lancelot, she had caught him several times observing their interactions with the same troubled look in his eyes. "What you may have _seen_ in the past, was during a difficult time … a time when the thought of us, _seemed_ impossible" she stepped even closer and looked up at him.

"And now?" Arthur words were soft.

"Now, I find that no matter what obstacles we face, I would rather battle for the impossible than live a simple life without you!" Arthur placed his hand over hers against his beating heart.

"I will make this happen Guinevere. You shall be my Queen" She leaned up and kissed him briefly.

"I _believe_ you will, now no more nonsense" she bumped her nose playfully against his. Then she smiled teasingly "_Plus_ if that life doesn't work out I still hold out for your becoming a farmer! … Hmmm, I can just picture it now, you toiling the fields knee high in..."

Arthur kissed her words away. Guinevere had a big forgiving heart, but it belonged to him and _only_ him.


End file.
